Talking about emotional issues with your partner


Not long ago a beautiful friend of mine shared with me that she was very upset with her husband. She said that  "he would never change" , "he never listened to her complaints, and didn't seem to care about her feelings".  After several conversations regarding these issues, and how she felt about the whole situation I mentioned to her that maybe he really loved her, but maybe he just couldn't do what she wanted him to do. (Have a long conversation about emotional issues).

We had an interesting and long conversation regarding this situation. I shared with my friend something I  have studied long ago. I have learned -and experienced myself- that one of the big differences between men and women is the size of the connection between the right and left half of their brain.

While women have a huge, wide, thick connecting cable that is capable to carry lots of information between the hemispheres, men have a smaller connecting cable between the hemispheres. This smaller cable can't carry nearly as much information as the one carrying information in women.  Because emotions are mediated by the right brain, talking is mediated by the left brain.

What is the meaning of this? Are women "better equipped than men'? No; no right or wrong. It simply means we are different and generally speaking, women can talk more about their emotions than men. Probably women can "hang in there" during a long conversation about emotional issues. That is the reason that most of the time when we - women -, talk about  our emotions with other women, we tend to have longer conversations.

This doesn't mean that no man is good talking about emotional issues, and by no means that no woman is bad at it or disinclined toward it. It only means that there is a real difference between the genders, but not everyone fits the pattern either. Just something else to be aware of when we communicate with the other gender about emotional issues. Being aware of this may lead to a better and more positive understanding with less expectations.

Sebastian NaumComment