Why do people play the blaming game?
Most of the time people do this because it is easier than looking at themselves in the mirror. Pointing fingers to others means not taking responsibility for their own issues. It is “less painful” to see the”fault” in others. There is always someone else to blame …parents, the boss, the world, spouses or partners, the next door neighbor, the circumstances, the weather, the world, the economy, the government, and yes even God.
I’m not saying that we have to like everything that is going on in the world, in the country in our families,in our lives. We don’t have to agree with whatever others think, believe or do. The “issue’ becomes an “issue” when we blame “them” for what is going on in our lives.
Believe me, we all have a list of people who wronged, hurt, or caused pain to us. It doesn’t mean we have to put up with that. It means that even if we were only 1% responsible for whatever happened to us, when we stand up in our own inner power, and we take responsibility for our actions, thoughts and, feelings, we empower ourselves. How we relate to whatever circumstance is going on in our lives is the “real” issue.
We don’t need to blame others; it is not going to solve our issues. When we make decisions from an empowered position , we can make changes in our lives that are conducive to achieving a state of inner peace and freedom.
Not blaming others does not mean that we don’t express our feelings, we don’t set boundaries, or we accept what we don’t want with resignation.
“Blame.” The mere word suggests that something wrong is going on. Most of us learned how to blame others for whatever we experienced as “wrong” when we were little by watching our parents and peers. A lot of people never learned how to actually be accountable or take responsibility for their own actions.
Sometimes people resist change and find it “easier” to continue living mediocre, miserable lives, than changing their own “inner software”; it is easier to blame the surroundings, circumstances, upbringing or lack , or even excess sometimes of (beauty, wealth, health, etc.). Human beings find themselves, time after time in the same “bad” situations and somehow never think that it might be “them”, who are repeating the same patterns .Different people, different scenarios , different circumstances, same patterns.
When we blame we imply that we are right. Being right is the number one reason we fight, because ego keeps us alive. We also imply that we don’t need to adjust our own attitude. We do this by making the same points, with the same people with the same lack of success.
The whole thing changes, when we learn from our mistakes, when we use those mistakes to advance in life, to grow, and expand. We take responsibility, for our actions, thoughts, and emotions, and we take loving corrective action, without blaming ourselves or others.
Is it easy? most of the time not!, is it simple? most of the time yes! is it worth it? definitely! it will change your life experience!
So next time you feel the urge to blame someone or something, because of what you are experiencing, just follow these simple steps:
- Stop and become aware you are about to start the blaming game
- Breath and release any anger or hurt o upset you might be experiencing (Check blog for emotional freedom techniques)
- Analyze the whole situation and try to find your part , in other words how did you contribute to the whole experience? even if only 1%…
- Take responsibility, own it
- Feel your new empowered attitude (breath in and out this new feeling)
- Now that everyone else is out of the blaming game, release the anger and beliefs you hold against the situation
- Take corrective action (whatever that might be; for example: apologize, have a calm talk with your partner, boss, siblings, parent; boss, etc;make changes in your life, relationships, etc)
- Acknowledge yourself for being courageous, and support yourself through the change.
This is about you… it is not about them… yes! even when all the fingers are pointing at them…
You own your own inner power! Use it to create more peace, more love, and joy in your life.
